A long time ago, around May 2018, a great trial befell our hero. Who is Archimedes, you ask? No, he’s not a Greek mathematician from Syracuse. He’s not even a bartender from Temecula. Archimedes is my guitar. Purchased from a living room sized music shop in rural Japan, this guitar has vanquished monsters and beasts along streets and inside coffee shops…and when I say monsters and beasts, obviously I mean songs, and by vanquished I mean played, but its still epic.
I remember sitting at work the day I bought it. I turned to a co-worker with a gleam in my eye, it frightened him at first but I assured him my intentions were not malicious. I said, “I have a question”, he with responded with, “…” well, he responded with whatever he used to say in Japanese that was roughly slang for ‘what is it?’ but I can’t remember what that is right now. I asked him, “How do I say ‘I want to buy a guitar’ in Japanese?” He looked deep in thought for a moment, then grabbed a piece of paper off my desk and wrote ‘Kaitai’. I looked down at the paper, then back up at him. I eyed him suspiciously for what seemed like an hour. We were like two cowboys against the setting sun, hands hovering tickling the air above our hips. I’m kidding. I said, “What does that mean” and he said, “It means ‘I want to buy’.” That was a really long story for about 30 seconds of interaction, but whatever, I’m over it.
Apart from coffee shops and along the street, last May I got the amazing opportunity to play my music at the Children’s Fairytale Festival at a huge park in my old town of Kusu. It’s called Douwasai in Japanese and I not only got to play on a huge stage, but I was also in front of a giant koi fish! A giant koi fish you can walk through! Every time people walked through that fish, they would exit right in front of my stage. They would be forced to look at me! My plan was perfect! I got to play for 45 minutes, twice, that day. Honestly, I would have been ok with about 20 minutes because my songs aren’t that long, what with growing up listening to Bay Area skater punk.
According to an old facebook post of mine, apparently the guitar only cost me $160.00 USD and I received a free strap, free bag, free stand and free allen wrenches…for you know, allen wrenching. The guy I bought it from was super nice and he even has a recording studio in his music store that some of my friends record music at. His shop is called Okawa Music, so if you are ever in Kusu, Oita, you should check it out! Oh yeah, and while I was playing at this Festival there was a group of children making wooden stools over to my left. Every so often when they would all be hammering their stools at the same time, it would interfere with my mic and make a loud buzzing sound. It was funny. I guffawed valiantly as I slayed the beasts at Douwasai!